Thanks to a friend on Facebook and a post on the forums I read daily, I found this article to comment on. It’s quite funny, but pretty dead on. So, here are the 10 ways to make your marriage divorce-proof:
1. Realize that if you can agree on what constitutes a clean room, you can agree on anything.
I realized this back in college… the best living situations I had were when my roommates and I were on the same cleanliness level. My worst situation was when my roommate was a “neat-freak” and I was a “clean-freak”. She’d get mad when I would leave a sweatshirt laying on the couch, but would leave Fruit Loops on the floor for days. Thank goodness S and I are a bit of both… if there’s clutter, it’s only mail, and in a pile. And at about the same time we realize we need to vacuum/dust. What makes this funny is what the authors of the article say:
Fortunately, if you can compromise on the red hot-button subject of cleanliness, your marriage is unlikely to be thrown off course by comparatively less volatile topics, like politics, religion, and money.
So it may not be 100% true that you will not be thrown off course by the other subjects, it still is true that a lot of marital arguments originate over left out dishes.
2. If you’re irritated by your partner, imagine him as a small child.
Ok, so this isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s not “talk to him as a small child” but imagine what he looked like as a small child. Imagine that 5 year old version… so cute and innocent, and the anger of what he hasn’t yet accomplished melts away. Ok, ok. So this may be harder than it looks. But still… might be worth a shot!
3. No fisticuffs in public.
This is pretty self-explanatory, and very very important. I don’t want to EVER fight with S in public. It opens your relationship up to ridicule and unwanted advice… plus it may give those who have no respect for the institution of marriage a chance to “make their move”. Sure, you may not agree on a topic, but raising your voice or degrading your spouse around others is so uncool. So don’t do it.
4. Marry someone with a backbone who appreciates that you possess one of your own. This is important too… while all marriages tend to have one person who’s stronger willed than the other, it’s important to realize that there should always be compromise. So you go see that hot action flick that your husband’s been dying to see on this week’s date night? Well, next week is the chick flick or musical you’ve been dying to see. It’s all about compromise, and standing up for your interests.. all while respecting and indulging in your spouse’s interests.
Seriously, it’s ok every once in awhile to forget about the toilet paper roll that needs to be put back on and take a walk around the block, or cuddle while watching a tv show.
6. Have sex with each other.
And if you aren’t feeling well, or whatever, be open and say something about it, but make sure you let them know that you still find them super hot. This will not only keep their self-esteem up, but also keep them less likely to stray. But of course, don’t always find excuses not to have sex. Just because you think you aren’t in the mood doesn’t mean you can’t get there.
7. Accept that everyone needs alone time.
This is really really important. We all annoy each other every once in awhile. That thing he did when you first started dating that you thought was so cute, may not be as cute anymore. So take the extra 10 minutes in the bathroom to take a deep breath and get over it. Your spouse will thank you (and when he does the same… you’ll thank him!)
8. If you have to fight, walk and fight.
Be careful of course, if you do this, that you’re not screaming so loud the neighbors hear (see #3). A lot of fights stem not from issues, but from being holed up in the same house for too long together, and you just go stir crazy. A bit of fresh air will clear the air and give you more energy.
9. Let your spouse in on 90% of your daily routine.
Leave something to the imagination. I’ll admit that I’m pretty guilty of this, but there are somethings I would never want S to see… like how my armpits are always hair-free. They’re just naturally that way!
10. When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute’s thought.
There are sometimes when you tell each other what you’d like (S told me he wanted a Bama polo for our anniversary… easy peasy!), but when that luxury isn’t available, spend some time actually thinking about what they would really like, to show that you get them. And as the years go by, it’ll get more difficult, but definitely worth the struggle.
What a cool and fun article. And even though S and I are still young in our marriage, these tips are pretty good to keep in mind.